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bktheirregularThe new "New Yorker" came in, with what I'm sure they thought was a poignant cover, of a soldier in the trenches, guns all around, jets streaking overhead, and the only spot of color in the drab brown landscape was the Valentine's card in his hand.
It's supposed to evoke a lot of feelings, I know. Well, it certainly evoked one for me:
I hate Valentine's Day.
I frelling hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate that holiday.
I think it was a bad idea when it was founded, way back when, and I think that the commercialism that has sprung up over the years makes it a thousand times worse. Everywhere you go, you see signs saying, "guys! If you love your sweethearts, you must buy them lavish gifts!" "Have you told your lady love you love her? Preferably by spending lots of money on her?" "Hey! Give us your money and show your special lady that she's special!"
The message between the lines: if you're not in that category of people with a special someone, you don't exist.
Between Groundhog Day and Valentine's Day, I know the feeling of being a forgotten minority. And there isn't even a National Association for the Advancement of Depressed Single Guys to complain to. I mean it's bad enough to have the holiday in the first place, but do they have to be so in-yo-face about it?
Did I mention that I hate Valentine's Day?
Close entry.
It's supposed to evoke a lot of feelings, I know. Well, it certainly evoked one for me:
I hate Valentine's Day.
I frelling hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate that holiday.
I think it was a bad idea when it was founded, way back when, and I think that the commercialism that has sprung up over the years makes it a thousand times worse. Everywhere you go, you see signs saying, "guys! If you love your sweethearts, you must buy them lavish gifts!" "Have you told your lady love you love her? Preferably by spending lots of money on her?" "Hey! Give us your money and show your special lady that she's special!"
The message between the lines: if you're not in that category of people with a special someone, you don't exist.
Between Groundhog Day and Valentine's Day, I know the feeling of being a forgotten minority. And there isn't even a National Association for the Advancement of Depressed Single Guys to complain to. I mean it's bad enough to have the holiday in the first place, but do they have to be so in-yo-face about it?
Did I mention that I hate Valentine's Day?
Close entry.
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I'm so there
Date: 2003-02-05 08:51 am (UTC)Plan?
Valentine's Day sucks. Big time. Oh yeah. (And now I can gloat to Mom that I'm not the only one who hates the intent behind those damn commercials -- "Your lady will only love you if you buy her expensive things." "Give diamonds, get sex." Bite me.)
Maybe it should be National Association for the Advancement of Bitter Singletons (NAABS)? Sounds more proactive....
I'm down with it.
Date: 2003-02-05 12:47 pm (UTC)Hm. Official motto: "It wasn't our choice to be single, it's just the luck of the draw." Or maybe not. I haven't got enough starch in me today to think of mottos.
But it sounds like a support group is born - and just in time too.
Hm. Bylaw number one: Any member of NAABS will be allowed to withdraw without prejudice if propositioned by Michael Rosenbaum, Eliza Dushku, or equivalent? (Gotta make with the gender-balanced...)
(Sorry, just got back from bar review and the mind has been thoroughly frelled. Along with the spine...)
Are you kidding?
Date: 2003-02-05 01:10 pm (UTC)I accept Bylaw 1 as perfectly reasonable, and offer Bylaw 2: "All members of NAABS are entitled to spend the two weeks leading up to Valentine's Day making rude noises, throwing things, and generally behaving as much like 12-year-olds as possible whenever Valentine ads, movies or Very Special Episodes are on television, regardless of how many Smug Couples may be in the room."
We do still need a motto, though.
Re: Are you kidding?
Date: 2003-02-05 01:27 pm (UTC)Allowed? I'd say it was frelling manditory. (Sorry, Tina, Adam, Val, Jack, Mom, Dad... er, that's about the limit of the happily married people I know.)
How's this for a motto:
Celebrate Valentine's Day the old-fashioned way: Kill a lot of mobsters in Chicago.
Re: Are you kidding?
Date: 2003-02-05 01:36 pm (UTC)Celebrate Valentine's Day the old-fashioned way: Kill a lot of mobsters in Chicago.
And suddenly, I have Ray Vecchio's voice in my head again. Gracias, Lizbet.
Just to be clear:
Date: 2003-02-07 07:24 am (UTC)And suddenly, I have Ray Vecchio's voice in my head again. Gracias, Lizbet.
The RCMP and the Chicago PD, while not persona non grata, do not have jurisdiction over this blog.
Though somehow I can't see Ray caring about that.
Re: Are you kidding?
Date: 2003-02-05 04:16 pm (UTC)And there oughta be an auxiliary organization of some kind, 'cause those make me want to vomit too...
Re: Are you kidding?
Date: 2003-02-05 06:18 pm (UTC)I've always liked Valentine's Day, even when I was single in the "not dating anybody" sense (as opposed to the "unmarried" sense). Chocolate, chocolate, those gummy cinnamon hearts that stick to your teeth, and yet more chocolate. Plus there's the going out with your friends because any holiday is an excuse part.
Besides, Daredevil's opening on Valentine's Day. Go see that and ignore all the holiday stuff.
Re: I'm down with it.
Date: 2003-02-05 01:48 pm (UTC)That's not a motto. That's a plea for Prozac. *pats for BK*
I love Lizbet's suggestion < g > but something a tad more positive might be in order. Reclaim the damned holiday.
"It's about the chocolate."
Well, it is for me, anyway. Much as I get frelling sick of the 'buy your honey something really expensive/why doesn't a guy think *you're* worth 50 grand?' state of mind, for me, V-day is about the chocolate. 'Cause my dad always made Valentine's Day messages out of M&M's for me and my sister. No matter what other Valentines I did or didn't get, I'd get that. Plus a really pretty valentine from my mom.
Total support of the Bylaws, by the way. Now for support measures:
#3: It is recommended that the Members watch "War of the Roses", "Diabolique", "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf", and "Women on the Verge of Nervous Breakdown" for movies that make you *glad* you're single. Is best done in the company of good friends, for drinking-game/MST3K'ing of flicks. Alternatively, any MST3K-athon where there is a 50's romance to be mocked is also a good idea.
Remember to bring chocolate.
Re: I'm down with it.
Date: 2003-02-05 01:48 pm (UTC)That's not a motto. That's a plea for Prozac. *pats for BK*
I love Lizbet's suggestion < g > but something a tad more positive might be in order. Reclaim the damned holiday.
"It's about the chocolate."
Well, it is for me, anyway. Much as I get frelling sick of the 'buy your honey something really expensive/why doesn't a guy think *you're* worth 50 grand?' state of mind, for me, V-day is about the chocolate. 'Cause my dad always made Valentine's Day messages out of M&M's for me and my sister. No matter what other Valentines I did or didn't get, I'd get that. Plus a really pretty valentine from my mom.
Total support of the Bylaws, by the way. Now for support measures:
#3: It is recommended that the Members watch "War of the Roses", "Diabolique", "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf", and "Women on the Verge of Nervous Breakdown" for movies that make you *glad* you're single. Is best done in the company of good friends, for drinking-game/MST3K'ing of flicks. Alternatively, any MST3K-athon where there is a 50's romance to be mocked is also a good idea.
Remember to bring chocolate.
Ah, Chicago.
Date: 2003-02-05 02:20 pm (UTC)Er, where was I?
Oh, yeah. Chicago. Train, plane, motor coach, I wonder? Ah, it doesn't matter anyway, not with the bar this close.
But I've got a suggestion for another movie for the proper St. Valentine's Day mood: "The Maltese Falcon." Just to see what love can drive people to...
Re: Ah, Chicago.
Date: 2003-02-05 02:46 pm (UTC)I have to find the right time of year to visit Chicago. Right now? Tooooooo cold. Perri and Tina tell me that September/October should be just about right.
Is that the proper Valentine's movie the way that Lion in Winter is the proper family Christmas movie? (You know, infighting, who-loves-me-more, uncomfortable sexual revelations, locking the children in the cellar, etc, etc. What does it matter that it takes place in 1183?)
Re: Ah, Chicago.
Date: 2003-02-06 06:33 am (UTC)True. Though I think that Perri and I disagree in that I think April/May is great too. I will, however, concede that the swampy humidity of a midwestern summer might not be all that great for a western desert dweller.
Re: I'm so there
Date: 2003-02-05 01:21 pm (UTC)"Every kiss begins with Kay." Bite, gag, shoot me, stuff me, mount me. Errr, perhaps not.
Yes, I want to be in love. Yes, I want to do the whole conventional marriage-children thing. I am *so* not ready to be doing it now, and I haven't found Mr. Right Now yet to just hang out with.
My latest entertainment has been to sign up for the Los Angeles Craig's List "Men Seeking Women" digest. Barrel of fun. My favorite so far (for freakiness, at least) is the guy who offers to give his beloved a bouquet of the severed hands of her enemies. Not the heads, because that wouldn't be original. The hands. Oy.
Re: I'm so there
Date: 2003-02-05 01:59 pm (UTC)"Every kiss begins with Kay." Bite, gag, shoot me, stuff me, mount me. Errr, perhaps not.
Uh, yeah. Not the message we want to send, Gnat. < g >
Totally on board with this, and willing to resent it on the guys' behalf too - especially since they all imply mind-reading abilities ("You *know* what she wants. Now you just have to buy it.") and deeper pockets than any guy *I've* recently met has.
Yes, I want to be in love. Yes, I want to do the whole conventional marriage-children thing. I am *so* not ready to be doing it now, and I haven't found Mr. Right Now yet to just hang out with.
Sing it, sister. Well, aside from the kid thing - but that's a whole other crusade. Either way, yes, would like to find Mr. Right Now, and am very annoyed that the idea of singletons is completely deleted from this holiday time period. *pout* I wanna see the commercial where the chick gets ten diamond bracelets and returns all of them, rolling her eyes, but telling the guys in question, "It was a really sweet thought. But we've only been dating a month, you know."
Or where some group of guys goes out to a bar and meet a group of girls doing the same thing, and no one hooks up, but they all have a good time playing pool and dancing 'til dawn.
'Cause jeez. Implied desperation much? Like we all *must* have a Someone for Valentine's Day, and every other day it's completely okay? Gah. Hate marketing majors.
Going to get more chockie.
Re: I'm so there
Date: 2003-02-05 02:12 pm (UTC)Every kiss begins with Hershey's.
Bylaw #?: If friend talks about great trip with girlfriend, you *must* harm him in fic.
--Abby
Re: I'm so there
Date: 2003-02-05 08:01 pm (UTC)Any institution that has Couple's Specials should let singletons in FREE.
Bastards.
But yes, I officially declare February 14 Bruce's Birthday and Daredevil Day, and that whole hearts and flowers thing can go stuff itself.
*nods*
Welcome to the chaos!
Date: 2003-02-05 08:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-05 08:21 pm (UTC)