Letters from beyond the veil

[bktheirregular]

Yesterday - or was it the day before? - my brother was hassling me as to whether I'd forgotten to give him his mail. He'd been expecting a letter from Aunt Susan.

The letter arrived today. I didn't open it, of course; it's a pet peeve of mine that I hate it when other people open my mail and announce what messages were within, so I don't do that to others.

Still, given that Aunt Susan died yesterday and her letter arrived today ...

It was a while ago, the last time I saw her, and somehow I prefer to keep my last hazy image of her in mind, healthy and hale, not emaciated and wasting away in her last illness. She and my dad talked over the phone on Saturday, and from all I gather, she was probably aware that any conversation she had might be for the last time. She was apparently pretty insistent on making sure that her affairs were in order, and making sure there were no false impressions as to her wishes once she was gone.

There's worse ways to go, I suppose. Still ... it's sobering.

I wonder what she had to say to my brother. I was away a lot during her final illness, away in Athens, away working, and my brother was around a lot, so he was able to go with my dad and visit.

I wonder how I'll handle it when the time comes for me. Oblivious and unaware, brain crashing in senility? Too tired to go on, just wanting it all to be over? Or maybe there won't be time. Almost happened that way once, like a mugger with a tire iron getting the drop on me in a blind alley.

In Athens, my grandmother's in decline and mostly unaware. My mom's brother-in-law is still hospitalized after surgery.

Been a tough year.

Comments

[mermaidrain.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Can't think of anything else to say, but hugs are always good.