Taking stock (again)
May. 25th, 2007 02:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bktheirregularSo the stutters and stammers and tremors? Less likely to be coming from biochemical imbalances (i.e. the time bomb in my throat seems to be quiescent). More likely, it's just stress.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking: stress? He's got his own job, he's got his own place, and he's on a vacation in New York City!
Except it's more like having the worst of both worlds: job stress (with apartment-renter stress, rent stress, worry about utilities, etc.) plus unemployment stress (with the added bonus that it's impossible to go job-hunting if you don't know if you'll even be in the freaking country. Or not.)
I can just feel the mood swing coming. The needle may not be pegged at "despondent" yet, but give it a few hours.
Oh, and want to hear something funny?
For a while, starting a few years back, I was in group therapy, and one thing people kept telling me (aside from "you need to just start dating", which, as advice is right up there with "throw yourself at the ground and miss") was that I couldn't just concentrate on one thing and push everything else aside until that one thing was worked out. Specifically, they seemed to be under the impression that I thought that if I could land a good solid job everything else would fall into place; I had to keep insisting that it was the other way around, that if I didn't find work that I wouldn't be able to accomplish any of the other things I needed to get squared away (no work equals no way to get my own home, no way to make my life my own, etc.)...
When I came back from Athens, I called the guy in charge of the group. He asked how I was doing, and informed me that there were things happening in the group since I'd left, and my return would be disruptive.
In other words, left behind.
The goddam Athens job thing seems to be heading the same way. Like the song goes, another year older and deeper in debt; another year gone and what to show?
Yeah, I know what you're thinking: stress? He's got his own job, he's got his own place, and he's on a vacation in New York City!
Except it's more like having the worst of both worlds: job stress (with apartment-renter stress, rent stress, worry about utilities, etc.) plus unemployment stress (with the added bonus that it's impossible to go job-hunting if you don't know if you'll even be in the freaking country. Or not.)
I can just feel the mood swing coming. The needle may not be pegged at "despondent" yet, but give it a few hours.
Oh, and want to hear something funny?
For a while, starting a few years back, I was in group therapy, and one thing people kept telling me (aside from "you need to just start dating", which, as advice is right up there with "throw yourself at the ground and miss") was that I couldn't just concentrate on one thing and push everything else aside until that one thing was worked out. Specifically, they seemed to be under the impression that I thought that if I could land a good solid job everything else would fall into place; I had to keep insisting that it was the other way around, that if I didn't find work that I wouldn't be able to accomplish any of the other things I needed to get squared away (no work equals no way to get my own home, no way to make my life my own, etc.)...
When I came back from Athens, I called the guy in charge of the group. He asked how I was doing, and informed me that there were things happening in the group since I'd left, and my return would be disruptive.
In other words, left behind.
The goddam Athens job thing seems to be heading the same way. Like the song goes, another year older and deeper in debt; another year gone and what to show?
