Nightmares
Mar. 13th, 2003 11:59 amI think almost everyone knows the feeling of waking up from a bad dream and being disoriented, of thinking that what happened in the dream actually happened. It's a scary feeling; saying to yourself "it was only a dream, it was only a dream" sometimes helps relieve the anxiety.
Unless you've had an experience where you were thinking "it was only a dream" ... only to find out that it wasn't a dream.
For the past five years, I have lived with that uncertainty.
Last night, I slept fitfully, woke up at four in the morning, and then I remember seeing something happening in the City ... er, New York City ... it was discord, it was acrimony, it was normal for this time in history.
Then everything I could see turned to blinding white, and everything I could hear turned to thunder.
I heard footsteps, anxious, clattering, and I woke up. And for a full minute I was afraid of the worst, that if I looked to the southeast I might see a mushroom cloud, or a pillar of fire.
I quickly turned on my laptop and checked the news ... and it turns out it was just a dream after all. The worst of it, anyway.
This time.
I'm afraid that I can hardly tell the difference between the reality and the nightmare any more.
Close entry.
Unless you've had an experience where you were thinking "it was only a dream" ... only to find out that it wasn't a dream.
For the past five years, I have lived with that uncertainty.
Last night, I slept fitfully, woke up at four in the morning, and then I remember seeing something happening in the City ... er, New York City ... it was discord, it was acrimony, it was normal for this time in history.
Then everything I could see turned to blinding white, and everything I could hear turned to thunder.
I heard footsteps, anxious, clattering, and I woke up. And for a full minute I was afraid of the worst, that if I looked to the southeast I might see a mushroom cloud, or a pillar of fire.
I quickly turned on my laptop and checked the news ... and it turns out it was just a dream after all. The worst of it, anyway.
This time.
I'm afraid that I can hardly tell the difference between the reality and the nightmare any more.
Close entry.
no subject
Date: 2003-03-13 03:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-03-13 05:59 pm (UTC)As for the rest, well, there might be things that could be done, but they'd involve extreme risk of hard time in Federal prison or worse. So I won't ask for that particular favor. :)