Left behind

[bktheirregular]

Not in the sense of the novel series - though I do have issues with the sense that the narrowly-defined Righteous will be carried away into Paradise from the wreck that is this world, leaving those who spent their lives trying to figure things out get stuck with the check -- seems to be emblematic of the attitude of many in positions of power these days.

No, I'm referring to the campaign.

The last couple of weeks, I've been working for real pay - meager though the pay is - and had to suspend my activities with Save The World Inc.

This week, I've got off Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. And since today is the last day before the election, I called in to see if the campaign office needed help. (This is the fundraising office, actually; it was the only office in the state back when I started.)

They have everyone they need for the next couple of days. And the movers and shakers have gone on ahead, to places like Ohio and Florida, to make a difference.

I know it's irrational, but I get this sense that I'm standing at the curb, gasping for breath, my legs having given out in a futile attempt to chase down the bus as it left without me.

The more I look, the more I see it as a common theme in my life - getting left behind. Falling behind.

The past seven months, I suppose I'll look back as one of the great efforts of my life, something in which I'll take pride, succeed or fail - though the pride will be buried in despair if it's a failure - but all of a sudden, it's like I missed the boat. Or the bus.

Like some day, I'll call these people and none of them will even remember who I was.

Left behind, tossed away. Like a Kleenex, perhaps. Not a pleasant feeling.

Not rational, either. But then, these aren't rational days.

Comments

[neonhummingbird.livejournal.com]

Maybe you could try looking at it from a different direction -- instead of being one of the people who rushed to get on the bus at the last second, you've been quietly working on the engine for months, and have now earned the right to stand back and watch what happens. < hugs > 'Cause, you have.

[uninvitedcat.livejournal.com]

How long did you volunteer for? Cos frankly, even if it was a single day, you contributed positively. You put your hypothetical money where your mouth was, and you should take pride in that. OK, you're a bit bummed that you're not going to be there for the big finale, but that doesn't mean you didn't contribute anything. Every little helps!