To be endured
Dec. 11th, 2013 07:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bktheirregularSome days, the office environment is nice and collegial. Some days, it's like a war zone.
The problem is, I never know when someone in a position of power is going to explode, and how powerful the (not entirely metaphorical) shock wave will be.
Yesterday, one partner went on a rant loud enough that I had to pop out of the office to try to convince her to tone it down -- and, without my saying a single word, it worked. To an extent.
"I'm sorry. Just go, close your door," she said. And the volume did, eventually, decrease.
Then there was today, when another partner didn't so much go on a rant as blow up into a full-blown tantrum, screaming about ... I honestly couldn't say what she was screaming about, but it was punctuated by slamming noises that were either pounding a hand on a desktop surface, or stamping a foot in rage.
So loud the door couldn't hope to screen it out. So loud that earbuds couldn't screen it out. So loud and furious that it gave me the shakes, and I had a closed door between me and the tantrum.
It was almost - almost - enough to prompt me to step into her office, ask for a quiet word, and just tell her outright: "if I acted like that in this office, you'd throw me out the door. And you'd be right to do so."
Except that I'm not sure whether saying that would get me thrown out. And in this economy, I still need this job.
Some days, I wonder: is it me, or is it this place, or is it just a few people? I know I'm a bit of an edge case; I can't stay in a loud bar for more than half an hour before the noise starts to overwhelm me, and I may have mentioned how shouting disagreements seem to be the rule rather than the exception in this corner of the world.
But can it really be that what I'm observing is actually within the norms of civilized behavior here, and I'm suffering from some sort of delayed culture shock or cultural blindness, that it's only because of the norms where I was born and raised that I can't abide that sort of behavior?
Well, whatever's normal here, here's where I am, and here's the civilization I've got to endure.
I fly back Stateside two weeks from today.
Damn, it'll feel good to be home.
The problem is, I never know when someone in a position of power is going to explode, and how powerful the (not entirely metaphorical) shock wave will be.
Yesterday, one partner went on a rant loud enough that I had to pop out of the office to try to convince her to tone it down -- and, without my saying a single word, it worked. To an extent.
"I'm sorry. Just go, close your door," she said. And the volume did, eventually, decrease.
Then there was today, when another partner didn't so much go on a rant as blow up into a full-blown tantrum, screaming about ... I honestly couldn't say what she was screaming about, but it was punctuated by slamming noises that were either pounding a hand on a desktop surface, or stamping a foot in rage.
So loud the door couldn't hope to screen it out. So loud that earbuds couldn't screen it out. So loud and furious that it gave me the shakes, and I had a closed door between me and the tantrum.
It was almost - almost - enough to prompt me to step into her office, ask for a quiet word, and just tell her outright: "if I acted like that in this office, you'd throw me out the door. And you'd be right to do so."
Except that I'm not sure whether saying that would get me thrown out. And in this economy, I still need this job.
Some days, I wonder: is it me, or is it this place, or is it just a few people? I know I'm a bit of an edge case; I can't stay in a loud bar for more than half an hour before the noise starts to overwhelm me, and I may have mentioned how shouting disagreements seem to be the rule rather than the exception in this corner of the world.
But can it really be that what I'm observing is actually within the norms of civilized behavior here, and I'm suffering from some sort of delayed culture shock or cultural blindness, that it's only because of the norms where I was born and raised that I can't abide that sort of behavior?
Well, whatever's normal here, here's where I am, and here's the civilization I've got to endure.
I fly back Stateside two weeks from today.
Damn, it'll feel good to be home.
