How I spent Christmas

1) Midnight barracks watch, 0000-0200.
2) Garrison assembly, 0730.
3) Barracks watch, 0800-1000.
3) Slicing potatoes, 1030-1130, thereby missing regimental commander's Christmas party.
4) Lunch, nearly missed, 1400.
5) Barracks watch, 1600-1800.
6) Catch up on sleep.
7) Dinner, 2000.
8) Brief time to read.
9) Get briefed on upcoming inspection of barracks from off base, due during midnight watch. (Guess who drew midnight watch second day in a row.)
10) Lights out, 2230.
11) Wake up, 2330.
12) Barracks watch, 0000-0200.

Bright side: it's less than 48 hours until I get my discharge papers and walk out a free man. And I finally got an off-base pass today, after three straight days on barracks watch.

Oh, yeah: I need to be baptized, whether I like it or not

Went to one of the offices on base before going out for my day-pass, to double-check for sure and certain when I get discharged. Was asked about the etymology of my name by the officer and an NCO who had come in during the discussion, and when I mentioned that the authorities mess up the translation constantly, I was asked: "what name were you given when you were baptized?"

They were shocked and dismayed to learn that I'd never been baptized, and even more dismayed to learn that I'm not part of any religion.

"I'm an agnostic. I don't have a church."
"So you're Catholic?"
"No; I don't have a church."
"Protestant?"

Which led to the NCO saying, with some urgency, that I needed to get my problem squared away, talk with a priest, and get myself baptized pronto once I get back to Athens. Talking as though I had a malignant cancer or a sucking chest wound.

I bit back my instinctive responses; I'm a miserable private, they're superior officers, what the hell could I say? Beyond "I'll bear that in mind."

Just as well I couldn't say "when hell freezes over" or "frell that".

I told them that I believe in being good to other people, in helping out those in need; apparently that's not enough. Apparently I have to join the structure of a religion, preferably the "right" religion.

I was ninety-three percent ready to say that I'd be lying to the priest if I said I wanted to be baptized. Just as well I bit my tongue.

They're trying the same thing in the US military, I hear. Proselytizing, as though there were only one proper religion.

Did I mention I was getting this from superior officers?

Forty-six hours to discharge. Can't come soon enough.