Aug. 11th, 2004

bktheirregular: (Default)
Sign 1: I turned on the television. In the middle of the day. Not even a TV with cable, mind you; just rabbit ears.

Sign 2: Turned on the TV and saw Mister Rogers. Flipped down two channels (13 to 11; 12 only has static) and saw Jerry Springer. Have not been able to summon a laugh or even a smile at the juxtaposition of the two.

I am now officially worried.
bktheirregular: (Default)
I guess it's a column of "things I can't freakin' stand" today.

People who DO NOT GET that right now I'm not being choosy about what sort of jobs I'm looking for. I need a job. ANY job.

"Helpful" suggestion just now:

Have you been working to expand your knowledge of the field you want to work in? Maybe write a paper or something that interests you on that topic? Make yourself more attractive to the people hiring, don't just be another person out there looking for a job.

Oh, and this was interspersed with don't get upset, let's just talk about this, if we can't talk about this then we might as well not be a family.

I didn't have any answers. I don't have any answers. I spent the day looking for a job - ANYTHING OUT THERE - and the pickings are so goddamn slim that I'm ready to jump at anything. Except that nothing's coming through.

And this isn't academia we're talking about either. Not something where you can just blue-sky some sort of theory.

I hate this.

Goddamnit, I hate this hate this hate this HATE THIS HATE THIS HATE THIS!

===

Entry interrputed by phone call.

Turning into ...


...interview.

Tonight.

7:30pm.

Interview.

Meeeeeeeep!

Update

Aug. 11th, 2004 05:51 pm
bktheirregular: (Default)
Botched fax + curious hiring associate + extended phone call + balky fax machine + professors in common = interview!

Nightcap

Aug. 11th, 2004 11:39 pm
bktheirregular: (Default)
Interview went ... well, I suppose it went well. Guy seemed interested, but there are others to interview and there's no guarantees at all. Will probably be weeks before I learn of their decision.

Anxiety/euphoria of surprise interview was short-lived, fading back into grouchiness and fatigue, though not quite to the gloom of the afternoon. Still very annoyed at family; still frusutrated at the lousy job market. Unable to summon much passion for anything, though.

Maybe just that my buttons haven't been pushed. Not sure what Vegas over/under is on me blowtorching the ear off someone who calls the office to heckle us in the next few days.

On balance, miserable frelling day with weather to match. Rainstorm from hell blew through, and driving home from law school, the sun broke through: not the clear blue-sky sun that energizes, but a blinding headache sun that stabs at the eyes without clearing away the clouds and gloom.

Have intellectually accepted that much of current circumstances are due to rare, miserable run of luck. Others in family rejecting that hypothesis. Heart also not listening to Labor Department reports or Murphy's Law.

Have decided that inconvenient facts are the equivalent of what's her name out of Fatal Attraction; misuse them, pretend they don't exist, ignore them, and they will wreak bloody havoc and vengeance in spectacular fashion, and likely destroy you in the process.

And that made more sense when I thought of it than when I wrote it down.

I had a point to this somewhere.

Close entry.

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