Nightmares

[bktheirregular]

I think almost everyone knows the feeling of waking up from a bad dream and being disoriented, of thinking that what happened in the dream actually happened. It's a scary feeling; saying to yourself "it was only a dream, it was only a dream" sometimes helps relieve the anxiety.

Unless you've had an experience where you were thinking "it was only a dream" ... only to find out that it wasn't a dream.

For the past five years, I have lived with that uncertainty.

Last night, I slept fitfully, woke up at four in the morning, and then I remember seeing something happening in the City ... er, New York City ... it was discord, it was acrimony, it was normal for this time in history.

Then everything I could see turned to blinding white, and everything I could hear turned to thunder.

I heard footsteps, anxious, clattering, and I woke up. And for a full minute I was afraid of the worst, that if I looked to the southeast I might see a mushroom cloud, or a pillar of fire.

I quickly turned on my laptop and checked the news ... and it turns out it was just a dream after all. The worst of it, anyway.

This time.

I'm afraid that I can hardly tell the difference between the reality and the nightmare any more.

Close entry.

Comments

< shudder >

[neonhummingbird.livejournal.com]

God, what an awful way to wake up. < massive hugs > And even worse if you've been doing this for five years. Wish I could make it better...

[bktheirregular]

I rarely dream, which is a good thing. And the nightmares that can be mistaken for reality do not happen as often as once a year.

Fortunately...

Thanks for the good wishes. :)

[weirdweb.livejournal.com]

Well, I didn't see this til just now, but... (hugs) Wish I could do more too.

[bktheirregular]

Thanks, but there's no way to help the confusion of dreams and reality.

As for the rest, well, there might be things that could be done, but they'd involve extreme risk of hard time in Federal prison or worse. So I won't ask for that particular favor. :)