bktheirregular (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bktheirregular) wrote2008-01-30 04:25 pm
bktheirregular) wrote2008-01-30 04:25 pm
Entry tags:
Robbed of forward momentum
For the past three months, the whole process for getting back to Athens, back to work, back to being a productive member of society, any society, has been: get ready to go - wait - get ready to go - wait - get ready to go - wait -
I came back to New York with a long list of tasks I needed to get done before returning to Athens, and I think every single one of them has been done. Every one that I've got any control over, at least.
The ones I don't have control over, though, are driving me mad. It could be any day now has stretched out for weeks, months.
It wouldn't be so bad if I were given a timeframe. It'll take two more weeks, or even It's going to be another month. That, I could plan around. This hurry-up-and-wait thing is something else.
While I wait, my skills erode.
While I wait, my expenses mount.
While I wait, my savings dwindle.
I'm at a critical point, now; the money I had saved that was going to the rent on my apartment is now less than a month's rent, so I had to turn to family for support on that count. I took the job, uprooted my whole goddamned life, on the promise that I'd be able to work.
And in the floating craps game that is life, I feel like I bet my future, rolled both dice, and got a one.
Busted flat in Baker.
I came back to New York with a long list of tasks I needed to get done before returning to Athens, and I think every single one of them has been done. Every one that I've got any control over, at least.
The ones I don't have control over, though, are driving me mad. It could be any day now has stretched out for weeks, months.
It wouldn't be so bad if I were given a timeframe. It'll take two more weeks, or even It's going to be another month. That, I could plan around. This hurry-up-and-wait thing is something else.
While I wait, my skills erode.
While I wait, my expenses mount.
While I wait, my savings dwindle.
I'm at a critical point, now; the money I had saved that was going to the rent on my apartment is now less than a month's rent, so I had to turn to family for support on that count. I took the job, uprooted my whole goddamned life, on the promise that I'd be able to work.
And in the floating craps game that is life, I feel like I bet my future, rolled both dice, and got a one.
Busted flat in Baker.